How Do You Escape Yourself?
by TiA aRiEl
Summary: A little bit of knowledge about bulimia. (Featuring Kagome).


Small Notice: This is basically just my little 'help fic' to get people to understand how serious bulimia and such thing's are. Don't have to review. It's just for people out there who want to read somethinng non-fictional and -shudder- educational. Might as well say now: I don't own the Inu-Yasha characters. Rumiko Takahashi does.

How Do You Escape Yourself?

She pulled her ebony hair up into a ponytail, the two lightning-blue streaks scarring the smooth surface of normal. She sighed, and looked down into the barely moving surface of the toilet-water. She didn't want to do this. She knew it was utterly wrong. But it wasn't called 'obsession' for nothing. _God, I don't want to do this. I _shouldn't_ do this...I have to do this..._ The young girl argued innerly with herself, before sighing and leaning against the bathtub. _This is stupid. Stupid Doctor, stupid parents, stupid me. Yes. Stupid, _stupid_ me. I'm so _ugly_...and _fat_...and I shouldn't _binge She flinched, before crawling from the bathroom helplessly. Grabbing her diary from impulse, she pulled a pen from her desk drawer, mouthing the words she was writing down.

_'Dear Diary;_

_The binge's stop today. As of Febuary 4th, 2004, I am quitting. No more binge's, or "cleansing myself", or anything stupider like "excessive exersize". I'm going to go on a diet, stick to it, and lose weight. Then I'll be as pretty as my sister, and I'll be able to get back to my normal life; school, getting a boyfriend, working, and eating properly. But _geez_ I do _not_ have "Bulimia Nervosa". Peh, all lies and poppycock. My doctor has some sort of obsession with telling lies about me! _

_...But, what if I _do_ have bulimia? That would explain the cravings, and the throwing up. No, that's healthy, it said so in the Yoga Book at school. Yes, healthy. Cleansing oneself. I will wear my locket with pride, and will suceed in my new diet. I _will_. I don't need anyone's help. Especially _not_ Dr. Fratterson. No, I will do this on my own, and suceed, too!_

_Kagome Higurashi.'_

That finished, she closed it and smiled. A tired and worn-out smile. Never ever again. Never, _ever_...

It simply sounded too good to be true.

Tucking her locket away into her pocket, she stood and reached for her coat, shrugging it on with ease. She pulled the scarf around her neck and tottered down the stairs, plunging out the door. She knew her brother Souta was home, and he would lock the door once he woke himself from his half-alive state. While passing the nearby corner store, she spotted the magazine she'd always managed to snag. She couldn't look away from those skinny models and pretty, tanned bikini-wearing babes.

Then she noticed a side-note; on bulimia and anorexia, and recoiled effectively. It was _everywhere_! Such a problem with people. Sad to think about. She stood a while, staring at the magazine, deciding for better or for worse what it would do to her. Finally walking into the store, she bought it and came back out, before walking briskly to the park. Leafing through it until she found the artical about these diseases that were sweeping the nation"diseases brought to yourself" sort of thing. She found all the symptoms she had herself, and her lips thinned derisively. Letting the seven dollars-worth magazine drop to the bench, she stood and walked away, hands stuffed into her pockets.

What w_as_ it with people these days, always writing about this stuff? It was so time-consuming and non-appreciated. She found it was just easier to ignore your problems and let him hide away and ignore them, letting them fester away.

Nothing stupider than thinking you had bulimia when you just cleansed yourself, persay. Right?

But she kept remembering the article:

_Bulimia, also called bulimia nervosa, is a psychological eating disorder. Bulimia is characterized by episodes of binge-eating followed by inappropriate methods of weight control (purging). Inappropriate methods of weight control include vomiting, fasting, enemas, excessive use of laxatives and diuretics, or compulsive exercising. Excessive shape and weight concerns are also characteristics of bulimia. A binge is an episode where an individual eats a much larger amount of food than most people would in a similar situation. Binge eating is not a response to intense hunger. It is usually a response to depression, stress, or self esteem issues. During the binge episode, the individual experiences a loss of control. However, the sense of a loss of control is also followed by a short-lived calmness. The calmness is often followed by self-loathing. The cycle of overeating and purging usually becomes an obsession and is repeated often. _

_Bulimia was only diagnosed as its own eating disorder in the 1980s. _

_People with bulimia can look perfectly normal. Most of them are of normal weight, and some may be overweight. Women with bulimia tend to be high achievers._

_It is often difficult to determine whether a person is suffering from Bulimia. This occurs because binging and purging is often done in secret. Also, individuals suffering from Bulimia often deny their condition._

_Sufferers consume huge quantities of food. Sometimes up to 20,000 calories at a time. The foods on which they binge tend to be foods labeled as "comfort foods" - sweet foods, high in calories, or smooth, soft foods like ice cream, cake, and pastry. An individual may binge anywhere from twice a day to several times daily._

(A/N: That little tidbit was from; http : www . mamashealth . com / bulimia . asp Yeah. So if you want to check something out, go there.)

Perhaps, she _did_ need help. Yes, she did. "I'm going to get help..." She proclaimed quietly, and walked away from the park.

-

A/N: Alrighty. This was just a bit of a one-shot thing, explaining about bulimia and stuff.

Inspiration: This whole story was made because of a presentation by MTYP (Manitoba Theatre For Young People) when they came to my school and did a presentation on bulimia. It was scary to know what some people were actually going through out there. So thank you MTYP.


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